By Steve Nelson

I’m not a big fan of cage fighting. But I love its ironies—especially the rule against abusive language.  Put two guys that have never met each other in a cage the size of a living room. Two men in the prime of their physical lives, teach them to punch, to kick, to starve another human of oxygen. Fill them with rage and convince them to beat their opponent to a bloody pulp. Reward the last man with a trophy the size of a small child. Call them a winner, a hero, a champion.  

But.

Before you let them in that metal cage, let them know they can't say, “fuck!” because that is offensive.  You may have seen an Ultimate Fighting Championship on TV. As I understand it, the original idea was to have a fight with no rules in an attempt to find the best fighter and martial art in the world. Of course the UFC has evolved over the years, and fighters are now bound by 31 rules—one being that you cannot use obscene words in the ring. I've been a martial artist for the last 15 years and I find these rules offensive, but not for the reason you might think. The rules turn fighting into a game. The game proves the winning martial artist is the best only within the parameters of the game.

I study Aikido. An Aikidoka (student of Aikido) has never competed in the UFC and if one does, he doesn't understand Aikido. Don't be confused. In Aikido we punch, we kick, we choke each other, I've busted up my shoulder, wrists, knees, fingers, toes, nose. Put someone who truly understands Aikido in the same room as any other martial artist and I'd put my money on the Aikidoka any day of the week. Do I think Aikido is the deadliest martial art? No. Thermo-nuclear warfare is. So why would I bet on Aikido? Because my money is on the person that would stop the fight, not start one.
My favorite Aikido move is so simple, yet extremely difficult. It involves taking two steps to the left. That's all. Someone tries to hit you, kick you, grab you, throw a pie at you, take two steps to the left. The philosophical basis of this is utterly profound. It explains why you've never seen Aikido in the UFC and never will. Many martial arts practice the art of blocking. If someone punches, quickly swat the punch away with your hand. This is effective to a point. Yet, we don't block in Aikido. If you screw up a block from a punch and you may end up with a black eye, or worse. One of the goals in Aikido is to not be there when the fight occurs. Move to such a powerful position that not only do you not get hit, but it's up to you to decide the fate of your attacker. Fighting is often the worst option and demonstrates that a mistake was made somewhere along the way.

To this day, the best Aikido I have seen in my life was done by someone who has never stepped onto a mat, my wife. About 10 years ago we were in Montreal. It was 11pm on a frigid New Year's eve, we decided to take the subway downtown to see the fireworks. As we walked into the escalator vestibule and proceeded to take the escalator down to the trains, two large guys who had been propped against the wall, got on the escalator and stood about 10 feet behind us. No one else was around. My heart began to race as I attempted to try figure out how I could possibly use my limited knowledge of Aikido throws and locks to take on these two guys who were minutes away from mugging us. As life began to move in slow motion from adrenaline, I was stupidly preparing for the first real fight of my life.

It was my wife who saved us that night. My wife, at a terrifying 5 feet 4 (and a half) inches, executed Aikido in its most elegant form. Against two men, no less, who could have snapped us in half. As we stepped off the escalator, she announced in a very loud voice: "OH CRAP! I forgot my wallet!". We got back on the up escalator and calmly walked out of the subway station. With no reason to mug us, they followed us up the escalator and propped themselves back against the wall. My wife may have saved our lives that night.

The next time you find yourself preparing for the fight of your life, consider breaking the rules.

Steve Nelson, a first-degree black belt in aikido, has been studying the martial art for 15 years. He trains at Norfolk Aikido. www.aikidonorfolk.com.